Modern Sayings (not really slang but who makes the rules)

I think these are statements where made by Irelands pillars of society Podge and Rodge. Not really slang but I think they are worth a mention. Thanks to Fr Crilly from boards.ie

• She's got more chins than a Chinese phone book
• She had a face on her like a well slapped arse.
• You're as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit.
• He has rubber-lined pockets so he can steal soup.
• He thinks manual labour is a Spanish musician.
• As funny as a burning orphanage.
• I'm as sick as a plane to Lourdes.
• (when leaving) I'm off like a debs dress.
• As busy as the Derry dole office.
• Sweatin' like a paedophile in a Barney suit.
• As tight as a nun's knickers.
• I'm so horny I'd get up on the crack of dawn.
• I'd crawl a million miles across broken glass to kiss the exhaust of the van that took her dirty knickers to the laundry.
• No show pony but would do for a ride around the house.
• What would ye expect from a pig but a grunt.
• A mickey the size of a double-value can of Right Guard.
• Jaysus, she could breastfeed a crèche.
• As fit as a butcher's dog.
• Not even the tide would take her out.
• Mother Teresa wouldn't kiss her.
• Daz wouldn't shift her.
• Des Kelly wouldn't lay her.
• A sniper wouldn't take her out.
• The Titanic wouldn't go down on her.
• Jaysus, ya wouldn't ride her into battle.
• If I'd a bag of bruised willies I wouldn't give her one.
• She has a face on her like a bulldog that's just licked piss off a nettle.
• She wouldn't get a kick in a stampede.
• She had a f@nny like a badly packed kebab.
• If I'd a garden full of mickeys I wouldn't let her look over the wall.
• Give her a boot in the arse and a bucket of mickeys would fall out of her.

Apologies to all the members of the fairer s*x, feel free to comment or send me recommendations for other phrases or slang.

Have a good weekend